Questions from a Cruise

I went on a cruise! It was lovely, exhausting, indulgent, and full of unforgettable hours. As always, I looked for life lessons in the process. Let me share a few with you.

1. Ask (and heed) the wisdom of those who’ve gone before you.

When preparing for our trip, I read travel blogs and checked out opinions regarding excursions. I looked for tips on how to make the best of our vacation time.

Do you know someone whose wisdom and experience could keep you from learning things the hard way?

2. Stay focused so that you don’t miss out.

The most important moments of any day were rarely what I expected. The big shows were fun, but conversations over early morning tea were more precious,

What’s happening right now, in your everyday life, that deserves your full attention?

3. Turn off your phone.

I didn’t have cell coverage, so I was never on the internet, and life rocked on just fine without it. What a lovely reminder to me to keep the chatter of life down to a need to know basis! ‘Helped me focus on the experience at hand.

Really, how much do you need to know?

4. Be courageous.

I shy away from heights and speed, but, for the sake of my grandson, rode a really fast waterslide. It was delightful! (I rode it six more times.) If it’s safe, moral, and legal, go ahead—step up to try that new thing that gives you butterflies.

Is fear holding you back from something good?

5. Let people be your priority.

When all was said and done, it mattered far more who was with me than where I was.

Who could use a call or a hug or a visit from you this week?

6. Pray about everything, and submit even the lousy moments to God.

God has often surprised me in the way he works things out. Bugs in our bathroom at 1 am (ugh!) led to an amazing upgrade.

Have you joined the “pray without ceasing” club yet?

And have you learned a good lesson while traveling or on vacation? If so, I hope you’ll tell me all about it!

Photo by Georgy Trofimov on Unsplash.com

Practical Proverbs Part 2

The practical, although challenging, advice given in the book of Proverbs is worthy of careful study. Here’s the rest of my abbreviated list of what God is asking us to do with his help.

Be financially wise.

“Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow” (13:11).

“Do not wear yourself out to get rich; do not trust your own cleverness.” One version says, “Have the wisdom to show restraint.” (23:4).

“The greedy bring ruin to their households, but the one who hates bribes will live” (15:27).

Choose friends wisely.

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (13:20).

“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much” (20:19).

Discipline your kids.

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” (13:24).

“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death” (19:18).

“A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother…Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire” (29:15,17).

Be willing to give and receive godly counsel.

“Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue” (28:23).

“A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence” (15:5).

“Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding” (15:31-32).

Overlook offense. Control your temper.

“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (17:9).

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (19:11).

“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel” (20:3).

Be self-controlled.

“Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags” (23:20-21).

“If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit” (25:16).

Appreciate your wife.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (18:22).

“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord” (19:14).

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (31:10).

Whew! That’s plenty for me to work on! How about you? Which one do you find the most challenging?

Of course, I didn’t cover everything the book of Proverbs has to say. ‘Hope you’ll spend some time reading it on your own in the coming weeks, and that you’ll share your discoveries with me.

Practicality

If you tend to stick to reading the New Testament, then you’re missing out on a lot of help in life. Let me encourage you to read through the book of Proverbs (maybe several times.) You’ll be blown away by its practicality. It’s a virtual feast (see, now the photo fits) of good advice! Here’s a sampling. (Since every quote is taken from the book of Proverbs, I’ve only listed the chapter and verse for each one.)

Pay attention to what God says.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (3:5-6).

“To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice” (21:3).

“Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him” (30:5).

Guard your heart.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (4:23).

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (14:30).

Watch your mouth. (This starts with guarding your heart.)

“The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent,and their lips promote instruction” (16:23).

“Keep your mouth free of perversity;  keep corrupt talk far from your lips” (4:24).

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (18:21).

Don’t be lazy.

“A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man” (6:10-11).

Be humble.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (11:2).

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (16:18).

“Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor” (29:23).

Be kind.

“A kindhearted woman gains honor, but ruthless men gain only wealth. Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves” (11:16-17).

“Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done” (19:17).

“The generous will themselves be blessed, for they share their food with the poor” (22:9).

Easy to do? Maybe not, but these words of wisdom are so important and, clearly, what God is asking us to do, with the help of the Holy Spirit. (‘Cause we’ll all fail miserably on our own.) Next week I’ll give you the verses that talk about financial wisdom, choosing friends, raising kids, handling rebuke, becoming self-controlled, and appreciating your wife (!).  Stay tuned! And have a great week.

Grace

Last month, I spoke at a wedding. In preparation, I asked the bride and groom to each tell me why they loved the other. Their answers were marvelous, and I had fun sharing them with the whole congregation. I followed up by saying, “And when you find yourselves frustrated with one another, probably over something that doesn’t really matter, remember the words you’ve shared with one another today. They will help you show one another grace.”

Last week, I got mad at my husband. Once in a while he does something that hurts my feelings, always something that doesn’t really matter, and it silences my joy for far too long. I still need to get better at showing grace*.

Long ago, I wrote these words. “We need to get along. To cut each other slack. To put up with inconvenience. To encourage one another. Petty grievances, and the discord they can create, are as old as the hills. When moments of hurt or anger threaten to weaken your relationships and silence your joy, remember that we have a common enemy, Satan, who seeks to divide us, to entice us into choosing offense and harboring hurt. At the same time, we share our common Lord, who calls us to forgive, to overlook, and to show grace.”

Ken Werlein of Faithbridge church said, “No matter what someone does to provoke us, we have done the same and more to provoke the wrath of God. Yet God forgives us and offers us his forgiveness, his love and kindness every single day. Thus, even when we find no earthly reason to offer grace to a fellow human being, we have a wealth of heavenly reasons to do so.”

James 1:19 instructs us to, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

This week, I’ll be asking the Lord to help me follow that command. Join me?

• “Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult” (Proverbs 12:16).
• “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11).

* And, since I prepare these blogs in advance, I need to add here that today, as I review this, I no longer remember what Steve did or why I was upset. All the more reason to show grace right away!

Careless

I learned to care less about what didn’t matter. (I hope that lesson sticks!) My list of things that matter is much shorter than it used to be. Past decisions, other people’s choices or opinions, plans that don’t affect me, social intricacies, small inconveniences… This doesn’t mean I care less about others around me, but rather that I am careful to conserve my mental and emotional energy for that which I can affect. My feathers don’t ruffle quite as easily as they once did. Computer problems? They look pretty small now. Traffic? Unexpected chores or needed repairs around the house? They aren’t so irritating any more. My “Type A” has slipped, and nicely so.

At times peace and worry warred within me, but peace won out every time. More than one friend commented that she could hear the peace in my voice. I could neither explain nor take credit for that. I began to journal all the “small” miracles that were sprinkled into my days.

• A good friend, a nurse with very particular views about local medical options, raved about the doctor who would be doing my surgery, as well as the oncologist who would be assisting.
• The depth and breadth of care and prayer astonished me. Friends and family near and far encouraged me with gifts, cards, texts, and promises of consistent prayer.
• Just one hour of shopping and $50 yielded four simple dresses I would need after surgery when my body swelled.
• More than one “chance encounter” led to times of prayer with someone who cared.
• I was hit with an intense bout of the flu just two weeks before my surgery. How could that be a blessing? It allowed me to see the gaps in my recovery plan. I learned what to buy and how to prepare for several days of limited mobility.

Then the day of surgery came. It was successful. I had very little pain throughout the entire process, astonishing all my caretakers. Many of the post-surgical discomforts I had been warned to expect simply never materialized. No complications arose. No further treatment was prescribed. I am well, and I am changed.

• I am living more deliberately. I’m more aware of the blessing of tasty food, a soft pillow, a hug from my husband, time to rest and recover…
• I am expecting less of myself and of those around me.
• I asked myself why I wanted to be healthy—to keep living—and I’m acting on my answers.

I don’t take my healing as the promise of an easy future. On any day, life can turn in either direction. The gift of getting to stay alive will not be without its moments of pain. And so, joy can only come from trust every single day. Circumstances, no matter what they are, just don’t cut it. Life changed in a moment last July. That may happen again. I have no promise of a similar outcome. I do have the promise of similar peace. So do you:

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful” (Colossians 3:15).

Next Week: Care More

And Then We Danced

Just 24 hours after “the call,” we were on a plane to my niece’s wedding in South Florida. What a gamut of emotions assailed me as we traveled! Sometimes I felt out of breath, as if my body just couldn’t acclimate to the news of pending change. I called my brother and sister-in-law to tell them the news. Their response was, as expected, loving and compassionate. The surprise was my brother’s closing words, “I feel led to say this to you. Allow yourself to have human emotions as you go through this.” My siblings and I don’t often say, “I feel led to say…” Yet that was just what I needed to hear. How easy it is to think that a life of faith means a life of stoicism. Untrue!

Two days later, I realized I was breathing normally and, most of the time, keeping in tune with the activities and conversations around me. Then came one of many shining moments. Steve and I were on a dance floor crowded with other wedding well-wishers, and I realized I wasn’t worried. I was happy. Now, truth be told, when first hit with the news of cancer, I was in a place of “Don’t Worry. Be at peace.” Happiness was still a bit out of reach. But here I was, just a few days later, truly back in a place of joy. This was a miracle, God’s grace in action, another reminder that the One who loves me most was and would continue to be carrying me through the hard times ahead.

Soon thereafter, I called my sister. Sympathy and compassion flowed through the phone. Then she, like my brother before her, ended her call by saying, “I think I am supposed to say this to you.” Her message was a different one, though, “Stop taking care of anyone else. Take this time to take care of yourself and to let other people take care of you.” Those of you who know my personality know that these words were spot on. They replayed in my head many times during the days of preparation, treatment, and recovery. But on that day those words also reminded me that we serve a supernatural God, one who gave both of my siblings words of advice that I needed to hear. I received them as a precious gift.

Then I told my parents. Dad, now 82, is a two-time cancer survivor. The first time, half a century ago, the doctors told him to get his affairs in order. They told my mom to take comfort in the fact that the disease would progress quickly. When they heard my news, they were well qualified to offer encouragement, “God wastes nothing. You are dearly loved. This can turn out well.”

Next Week: Careless