Even If Again

Last month I had an opportunity to talk to a group of young moms about the power of moving our minds from “What If?” to “Even If!!” (If you need a refresher, you can read about that change of perspective HERE.) Just days later, I was reading through some old blog entries and came across this:

We are never in control. We can only trust and obey. No matter what.

Several years ago we were headed to a wedding. Traffic stopped ahead, but our car didn’t. I could hear our son in the back seat saying, “Careful! Careful!” as I tried to figure out why we were still moving. A water bottle had slipped from the seat and lodged underneath the brake. Eventually, the bottle shifted, the car stopped, and all was well. But it might not have been, and I was reminded once again that we are never in control.

Yes, I know. Water bottles belong in cup holders, and mine will be carefully stowed there from now on. But we still can’t really control life. Even if we take every possible precaution as to health and safety, we can’t guarantee our own security. Tucked into bed in some quiet corner of the world, we are still vulnerable. An earthquake, a tornado, an aneurism, a heart attack, and a whole host of other life-changing or life-ending events remain real possibilities despite our efforts to forestall them.

So, what do we do? We trust and obey. Can you hear that great old hymn in the background of your brain? “Trust and obey for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.” John H. Sammis put awesome theology to a delightful tune.

The Lord is our Maker, our Owner, and the One who loves us forever. (Check out Psalm 100.) Trusting him makes perfect sense. If we remain “safe” by our own definition, we trust him. If the storm comes and we suffer loss, we trust him. And to the best of our ability, we do things his way. If we were sick, we would listen to our doctors. If we were lost in the jungle, we would happily follow an expert guide, should one appear. We serve the Great Physician. We have an all-knowing Guide. Obedience to our loving Lord is simply logical. Why would we want to live outside of his plan?

Someday the car may not stop. The tornado may strike. Even if that happens, we can be sure that God is there. He loves us, he sees the big picture, and he is in control.

It’s an old blog, but filled with even older (much older!) truths. ‘Hope you’ll walk in trust today!

Standing Up for Yourself

Photo by Sanketh Rao on Pexels.com

Since I often write about kindness and service and thinking of others, a blog title about standing up for yourself may surprise you. But I myself have been surprised this week.

Surprise number one: I wrote about encouraging others and received this comment:

I love this! Thank you for this reminder! I can be this for others and I can seek it out myself since it’s not available through family.

Surprise number two: I went to a MOPS meeting where, by an ingenious method, ladies were anonymously polled about their struggles. Two of the most commonly selected items were:

“I have, or have had, trouble with self-esteem or self-confidence.”

“I have compared myself to another woman in looks or motherhood.” (And been found lacking.)

While these comments reveal pain that cannot be treated by a 350 word blog post, I still want to share a couple of trite but true quotes from my early years. No, I didn’t write them. Rather, I was blessed to have them drilled into me before the world could teach me otherwise.

“I’m me. I’m wonderful, because God does not make junk.” In other words, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

“Please be patient. God is not finished with me yet.” Or, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion” (Philippians 1:6).

And, lastly, my own quip, which helps me when I’m tempted to weigh my own looks, talents, lifestyle, and accomplishments against those of others:

“Don’t compare in your underwear.” You can see every wart, wrinkle, and imperfection in your own life and body as you scrutinize yourself. You’ll never be privy to most of the struggles and frailties of those around you who are already dressed in their best before you lay eyes on them.

Seek encouragement from a friend or relative you can trust. Open your Bible. You may be surprised to see how much encouragement you can find there. And re-read those three quotes a couple of times. Use them as weapons in the fight for your own self-esteem.

Like a Yo-yo by Beth Smith Part 1: The Don’ts

Once a few years ago I found a bag of yo-yos on sale for a remarkably low price. Why? Because they didn’t work at all.  I bought them anyway and gave them to some of my friends as a reminder that a “Yo-yo Life” doesn’t work either.

Because we’re human, we all suffer from the yo-yo syndrome. We feel

• good, then bad;
• happy, then depressed;
• fearless, then afraid;
• loving, then hateful;
• confident, then anxious.

What do we do about these ups and downs? Sadly, we often do something like the old song says, “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places”. We turn to alcohol or drugs or food or screen binging or shopping or…anything that will satisfy our senses and numb our feelings. We need to get that yo-yo up! But none of our strategies last, so down we go again.

The ups and downs of life are a part of reality. We can’t run away from life anymore than we can jump out of our own skin. So, what are we to do? God is the only lasting answer. We must trust him with everything, and turn to him for help when the yo-yo is dropping instead of turning to short-term solutions.   

When we’re down, we tend to say, “Well, I guess I just need to try harder.” Ah, but here’s some great news. It’s not the trying, but the trusting that does the trick. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will direct your paths.” The God who saves us by his grace is also the God who is powerful enough to sustain us and to keep us steady, to stop the yo-yoing up and down.

(To be continued…)

Photo by Geometric Photography on Unsplash

Questions from a Cruise

I went on a cruise! It was lovely, exhausting, indulgent, and full of unforgettable hours. As always, I looked for life lessons in the process. Let me share a few with you.

1. Ask (and heed) the wisdom of those who’ve gone before you.

When preparing for our trip, I read travel blogs and checked out opinions regarding excursions. I looked for tips on how to make the best of our vacation time.

Do you know someone whose wisdom and experience could keep you from learning things the hard way?

2. Stay focused so that you don’t miss out.

The most important moments of any day were rarely what I expected. The big shows were fun, but conversations over early morning tea were more precious,

What’s happening right now, in your everyday life, that deserves your full attention?

3. Turn off your phone.

I didn’t have cell coverage, so I was never on the internet, and life rocked on just fine without it. What a lovely reminder to me to keep the chatter of life down to a need to know basis! ‘Helped me focus on the experience at hand.

Really, how much do you need to know?

4. Be courageous.

I shy away from heights and speed, but, for the sake of my grandson, rode a really fast waterslide. It was delightful! (I rode it six more times.) If it’s safe, moral, and legal, go ahead—step up to try that new thing that gives you butterflies.

Is fear holding you back from something good?

5. Let people be your priority.

When all was said and done, it mattered far more who was with me than where I was.

Who could use a call or a hug or a visit from you this week?

6. Pray about everything, and submit even the lousy moments to God.

God has often surprised me in the way he works things out. Bugs in our bathroom at 1 am (ugh!) led to an amazing upgrade.

Have you joined the “pray without ceasing” club yet?

And have you learned a good lesson while traveling or on vacation? If so, I hope you’ll tell me all about it!

Photo by Georgy Trofimov on Unsplash.com

Practical Proverbs Part 2

The practical, although challenging, advice given in the book of Proverbs is worthy of careful study. Here’s the rest of my abbreviated list of what God is asking us to do with his help.

Be financially wise.

“Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow” (13:11).

“Do not wear yourself out to get rich; do not trust your own cleverness.” One version says, “Have the wisdom to show restraint.” (23:4).

“The greedy bring ruin to their households, but the one who hates bribes will live” (15:27).

Choose friends wisely.

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (13:20).

“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much” (20:19).

Discipline your kids.

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” (13:24).

“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death” (19:18).

“A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother…Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire” (29:15,17).

Be willing to give and receive godly counsel.

“Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue” (28:23).

“A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence” (15:5).

“Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding” (15:31-32).

Overlook offense. Control your temper.

“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (17:9).

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (19:11).

“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel” (20:3).

Be self-controlled.

“Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags” (23:20-21).

“If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit” (25:16).

Appreciate your wife.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (18:22).

“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord” (19:14).

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (31:10).

Whew! That’s plenty for me to work on! How about you? Which one do you find the most challenging?

Of course, I didn’t cover everything the book of Proverbs has to say. ‘Hope you’ll spend some time reading it on your own in the coming weeks, and that you’ll share your discoveries with me.

Practicality

If you tend to stick to reading the New Testament, then you’re missing out on a lot of help in life. Let me encourage you to read through the book of Proverbs (maybe several times.) You’ll be blown away by its practicality. It’s a virtual feast (see, now the photo fits) of good advice! Here’s a sampling. (Since every quote is taken from the book of Proverbs, I’ve only listed the chapter and verse for each one.)

Pay attention to what God says.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (3:5-6).

“To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice” (21:3).

“Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him” (30:5).

Guard your heart.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (4:23).

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (14:30).

Watch your mouth. (This starts with guarding your heart.)

“The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent,and their lips promote instruction” (16:23).

“Keep your mouth free of perversity;  keep corrupt talk far from your lips” (4:24).

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (18:21).

Don’t be lazy.

“A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man” (6:10-11).

Be humble.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (11:2).

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (16:18).

“Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor” (29:23).

Be kind.

“A kindhearted woman gains honor, but ruthless men gain only wealth. Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves” (11:16-17).

“Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done” (19:17).

“The generous will themselves be blessed, for they share their food with the poor” (22:9).

Easy to do? Maybe not, but these words of wisdom are so important and, clearly, what God is asking us to do, with the help of the Holy Spirit. (‘Cause we’ll all fail miserably on our own.) Next week I’ll give you the verses that talk about financial wisdom, choosing friends, raising kids, handling rebuke, becoming self-controlled, and appreciating your wife (!).  Stay tuned! And have a great week.