Learning the Hard Way

This post is inspired by the wise words of a good friend who prefers to remain anonymous. It’s filled with lessons she learned the hard way. I’m sharing it here in hopes that you can benefit from her wisdom and escape some of her difficulties.

 

I’ve been learning some difficult lessons about health and rest–physically and spiritually. At this time I’m recovering and determined to take better care of my body–not only by exercising, but also through eating and resting. We all have areas of health where we simply aren’t in control. But, we are responsible for certain aspects such as nourishment, sleep, and saying “no” to good things so we can have balance in our schedules. While stress doesn’t necessarily show itself outwardly, it can manifest itself physically in ways we’d all like to avoid. When we face illness, we ought to trust God for total and complete healing in His time, while still trying to do what we can to become healthier.

For a long time, I deliberately disliked the term “self-care” and considered it selfish. This is false. It finally dawned on me that I’ve been holding myself to nearly impossible standards that I wouldn’t think of imposing on others. Over and over, I’ve physically pushed myself to the limit and beyond. What for? I am not my own. How can I care for others and serve sustainably without a healthy view of who I am?

It boils down to these lessons for me:

• Caring for my body honors God.
• Being relatively thin (by U.S. standards) is not necessarily synonymous with being truly healthy.
• Most of the time, pain is your body telling you that something isn’t right.
• It’s possible, and Biblical to live missionally and sacrificially while also allowing one day of adequate rest each week.
• We aren’t created to just survive, but to really live, and that includes doing things we enjoy like running, cooking, reading just for the joy of it, going to a coffee shop, etc.)
• Christ is honored in our rest just as He is honored in our service.

These seem like the simplest truths, and I’ve shared them with others numerous times, but a time came when I had to learn them the hard way. Perhaps this was the only way I could truly learn for myself. If you’re reading this today, know that you are enough. Your immense value is not tied to whatever occupation you have, nor is it inextricably entwined with your abilities. You are a human being… Not a human doing. I’m reminding myself of this as well.

Tips for a Stunning Life

 

I can’t take any credit for today’s blog. I got it from my friend Becky, who got it from the Tips for a Stunning Life blog found here:  and used with permission. I love this simple list and hope you’ll choose a couple of these challenges for yourself. Please let me know which are your favorites!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. When you wake up in the morning, pray to ask God’s
guidance for your purpose, today.
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food
that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!
11. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
17. Help the needy, Be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. Time heals everything.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed, pray and be thankful for what you accomplished today.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed

Photo by Casey Horner via Unsplash.com

The Rubber Met the Road

On Wednesday, July 27^th, the rubber met the road. If you’ve read this blog before, you know that I read, write, and study the topic of trust.

• Don’t worry, be happy.
• Trust and obey.

Those lines are pretty easily said and done when life is rocking along. But what about when life is simply rocked? Stephen Covey is famous for saying, “Begin with the end in mind.” So here’s the end of my story: God is faithful. Everything I’ve read and written about trusting him in the dark times is true. Here, though, is the rest of my story.

First of all (pardon the nitty  gritty of this) I want you to know my symptoms. No, make that symptom—singular, and subtle. I had bit of spotting so faint I almost could have missed it, and certainly could have talked myself out of paying any attention to it. No pain. No abnormal pap smears. Just a bit of a blush when there should have been none. Steve and I were cleaning out bookshelves, and I “happened to” scan one that didn’t make the cut, just one final look before I threw it away. Here’s what the book said. Please make a mental note of this and tell every woman that you know: A woman with any abnormal bleeding should see a doctor. And so I did. (And I promise, that’s the last descriptive medical detailing you will read here.)

I started that Wednesday in in solitude, drinking Earl Grey with honey and randomly chose to read Psalms 116-118. I hope you’ll take time to read those chapters today. The passage I read included these verses:

• “Truly I am your servant, Lord. I serve you just as my mother did, you have freed me from my chains” (Psalm 116:17).
• “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done” (Psalm 118:17).

I’d never noticed that “mom” part before. In fact, it struck me as a little odd. I didn’t realize God was preparing me for the hours to come. Here’s what you should know about my mom. About 30 years ago, she had the same surgery I ended up having. A teacher, a speaker, and a writer, she is nearly 80 now and continues to be an ace at proclaiming what the Lord has done. Two hours after my Bible reading, the phone rang. Endometrial cancer, stage unknown. I’d need to have a hysterectomy before further treatment could be determined. I scribbled notes, trying not to pass out, hoping to get all the information straight. Then came one of the hardest moments of this journey.

I had to tell Steve that my biopsy showed cancer, but here’s another of what became a stream of blessings. He was home when that call came through. No waiting. No deciding whether or not to tell him the news over the phone. He was, my journal of that day says, “just as I needed him to be.” He held me, prayed with me, and helped me rewrite my scattered call notes so that I’d be able to keep all the doctor’s information straight. It “just so happened” (are you seeing a pattern here?) that all four of our kids would be visiting within a couple of hours. We were thankful for the opportunity to talk to them in person, even though it was hard to see those red-rimmed eyes.

Now you’ve heard the beginning and gotten a glimpse of the end. For the next four blogs, I want to talk about the middle, to “proclaim what the Lord has done,” to describe the creative ways God took care of me, encouraged me, and showed himself faithful. It will be far more uplifting than this introduction has been. I hope you will stick with me for the next several weeks, and that you’ll share my story with as many people as possible, because it’s always good to brag on the goodness of God.

Engine, Engine Number Nine

There’s a lot of talk these days about making sure we eat enough fruit and vegetables. Google the topic, and you’ll get plenty of information. There’s even a calculator here, posted by the Center for Disease Control: http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/howmany.html

Most of the research lands somewhere around this advice: eat at least nine total servings of fruits and veggies every day (a little heavier on the veggies than the fruit) to keep your “engine” running nicely. Wow, really, nine? Yep, and the truth is it’s not so hard to do once you do a little experimenting. If you’re ready to give “Nine a Day” a try, here are a few tips that might help.

• Begin at breakfast: Broccoli for breakfast? Maybe not, although I’m not sure where we got the idea that our days must begin with a carb loaded meal devoid of anything green. If you must have coffee and a donut, at least consider adding an apple to the mix. And if you’re feeling adventuresome, eat last night’s leftovers or a bowl of soup instead. You’ll probably last longer on that meal than on the typical bowl of oat-ee-oh’s.
• Do double duty: When you sit down to a meal, whether it’s one you order or one you prepare, serve yourself two, or even three, different kinds of vegetables. Steam or roast several varieties at once. Have a salad and the green beans…You get the picture.
• Stick ‘em in a smoothie. Smoothie recipes abound. To be honest, some of the ones I’ve tried are downright nasty. Some, though, hit the spot and keep my energy up for hours. Try a few until you find one that’s right for you. Focus on berries and bananas for sweetness, though, and stay away from sugar.
• Sneak ‘em in as snacks. I am actually quite happy to eat raw snow peas, carrots, celery or zucchini when hunger strikes, so long as I have a healthy dip on hand. Make it or buy it, but absolutely try it!
• Use seven for salads. Salads don’t have to be boring bowls of greens. Start there, but add chopped walnuts, slivered almonds, chopped grapes or apples, coleslaw mix, diced squash, shredded carrots, raisins, avocado, black beans, chick peas, corn, peas…I find that once I’ve counted seven items in my bowl, I’m going to be happy chowing down on my creation. (Watch out for heavy salad dressings, though!).

As you go about adjusting to the number nine, remember that your body belongs to the Lord. You’re doing your part to prepare for whatever he has for you to do today. And, of course, he created all that produce in the first place. One of these days you’ll discover that it’s delicious!

 

Sharp Scissors, A Parable

Mr. Carson’s tenth graders were ready for a relay race. Two groups of eager contestants, each holding a brightly colored sheet of paper, lined up on opposite sides of the room. The students at the head of each line held scissors as well. Before long, their teacher called them to attention and gave them these instructions: “When the race begins, cut your paper in half down the middle. Then pass the scissors to the next in line. Keep on cutting and passing until everyone on your team is done. When the last person on your team has finished cutting, yell, ‘We won!’ Are you ready? Then, on your mark. Get set. Go!” 

Determined to win, each student wanted to be the fastest paper slasher in the room. With jaws set and eyes focused on the job at hand, none noticed the progress of their competitors. One team completed the task with ease, while the other slogged through with great frustration. Only half their papers had been sliced by the time the faster team had finished.

Before anyone could protest, the wise teacher retrieved the scissors and sent the baffled students to their seats. Superior smirks on the winners’ faces quickly faded as he held up the scissors, side by side, for inspection. One pair obviously belonged in a kindergartener’s cubby. Short and blunt, they were ineffective. The other pair, long and sharp, would have been welcomed by a seamstress or a surgeon.

“Unfair!” cried the losing team. Amid their complaints, the teacher asked for silence and began to speak.

“Today you were all given the same assignment. Those who used the sharp scissors found slicing through construction paper to be an easy chore. Even if I’d given you plastic sheeting or leather to cut, you would have been able to complete your task. The dull scissors were frustrating though, and you were only cutting thin sheets of paper. Imagine what would have happened if I’d given you cardboard to cut!”

“Was this relay fair? Of course not. I never intended it to be fair. I set up this race to teach you a lesson you should never forget. Life will hand you all sorts of tasks, some easy, some holding great challenge. Your job is to get ready, to take care of yourself, to learn and to develop your talents. Choose to become sharp scissors.” 

In January a lot of us hit the “restart” button, determined once again to get ourselves in shape. Why? Often the “why” we’ve chosen isn’t strong enough to keep us disciplined throughout the year. Here, though, are a couple of really good reasons to stay the course:

“You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:20).

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10).

You are his. He has work for you to do. Stay sharp.

(My apologies to those of you reading this for the second time, as I inadvertently posted a draft in early December!)

Sharp Scissors, A Parable

 

Mr. Carson’s tenth graders were ready for a relay race. Two groups of eager contestants, each holding a brightly colored sheet of paper, lined up on opposite sides of the room. The students at the head of each line held scissors as well. Before long, their teacher called them to attention and gave them these instructions: “When the race begins, cut your paper in half down the middle. Then pass the scissors to the next in line. Keep on cutting and passing until everyone on your team is done. When the last person on your team has finished cutting, yell, ‘We won!’ Are you ready? Then, on your mark. Get set. Go!”

 

Determined to win, each student wanted to be the fastest paper slasher in the room. With jaws set and eyes focused on the job at hand, none noticed the progress of the opposing team. One team completed the task with ease, while the other slogged through with great frustration. Only half their papers had been sliced by the time the faster team had finished.

 

Before anyone could protest, the wise teacher retrieved the scissors and sent the baffled students to their seats. Superior smirks on the winners’ faces quickly faded as he held up the scissors, side by side, for inspection. One pair obviously belonged in a kindergartener’s cubby. Short and blunt, they were ineffective. The other pair, long and sharp, would have been welcomed by a seamstress or a surgeon.

 

“Unfair!” cried the losing team. Amid their complaints, the teacher asked for silence and began to speak.

 

“Today you were all given the same assignment. Those who used the sharp scissors found slicing through construction paper to be an easy chore. Even if I’d given you plastic sheeting or leather to cut, you would have been able to complete your task. The dull scissors were frustrating though, and you were only cutting thin sheets of paper. Imagine what would have happened if I’d given you cardboard to cut!”

“Was this relay fair? Of course not. I never intended it to be fair. I set up this race to teach you a lesson you should never forget. Life will hand you all sorts of tasks, some easy, some holding great challenge. Your job is to get ready, to take care of yourself, to learn and to develop your talents. Choose to become sharp scissors.”

 

In January a lot of us hit the “restart” button, determined once again to get ourselves in shape. Why? Often the “why” we’ve chosen isn’t strong enough to keep us disciplined throughout the year. Here, though, are a couple of really good reasons to stay the course:

“You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:20

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

You are his. He has work for you to do. Stay sharp.